This day
could be longer
and this feeling
way stronger
than previously thought
the path I sought
and shit I bought
formed no folded, embracing arms

you Stand Above and you Rise Below
you Show Some Love and you Touch and Go

the pain is
as real
as perception
as passing fancy
as truth and deception

You don't suck blood-you just suck.

Unless you've been hiding under a rock, which i totally wouldn't fault you for, i'm sure you have been equally super-saturated which " vampire " everything. Books, movies, t.v., and probably music too-but i'm not so sure about the music part; last i heard specifically vampire music was Concrete Blond's " Bloodletting " album, and that was fuckin' forever ago. Since when did pretending to suck blood become cool? Who the hell started this trend? I understand that dark, decadent behavior could seem cool to kids that don't know any better, but I was 12, I read a few Anne Rice books, thought they were okay, and didn't grow up to wear frilly shirts and get fang dental implants.
I guess thats all I have on that topic. I could go on, but why bother? Blah.

This Summer

I saw you
and you seemed to be
so happening
in that striped sun dress
and you seemed to be
grinning at the mess
that is my mind

Silly strange girl

Boredom strikes on a summer afternoon

So.....I've been hitting the " Next Blog " button, checking out other people and what they blog about; its crazy how many people of the Judeo-Christian faith have a blog. I know, I know- I just posted something in the realm of religion, but I had to share my amazement. I mean, shouldn't they be praying instead of blogging? Is blogging their way of reaffirming their choice of spiritual journey? Okay, I may be a little discriminating, prejudiced, blah, blah, blah. I dunno. It strikes me as odd.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The " super-hip " owner of the coffee shop i frequent keeps calling me Andy. I've corrected him a couple of times in the past year, but now I'd rather just let it go. Besides, its kinda cool to have another name. This could fun. Hasn't everyone wanted to be someone else at one time or another? I could create a whole other life.......or not. Feels kinda schizophrenic when I type it out.

" Are you there, God? It's me, you giant asshole. "

Belief in some kinda Higher Power does not come easily to me. Honestly, the entire concept is painful to digest. In my younger days, I thought if there was such an entity as " GOD ", that I would kick the shit outta him/her/it upon our first meeting. Now, I approach the idea with a much more mellow attitude. I don't pray. I don't kneel before anything. I don't trust that everything will be taken care of. I have just two things, that I've borrowed from somwhere, to lay before the thought of faith: God helps those who help themselves, and Faith without works is dead.

What i should be doing.....

No, this is not what i should be doing. If I were to actually give a fuck about what I should be doing, I wouldn't be sitting in this coffee shop when i should be at work. I would instead be contributing to society, the government, my wallet, etc. by participating in the daily grind. Not today. Today is for coffee, cigarettes, sketchbook, pondering the point of my role in things.
I don't really care about the World Cup. I mean, its kinda cool that Landon Donovan feels more " in the zone " this time but thats just because i wanna be " in the zone." Whatever the hell that feels like.
I should be mowing the lawn. Its hot, and since when did i start paying attention to all those commercials telling me to care about the lushness of my lawn?
What i should be doing is figuring out a way to exist in this world without feeling inadequate; feeling unsatisfied; feeling expressionless.